When things happens and you don't expect it.

What now!!!
Now, I'm in love with the sweetest boy in Earth!! But my past haunts me...
What can I do if I have to choose between good sex and a beautiful flirting? Easy. Flirting is by far much better than sex without commitment.
But the real problem is when say no to sex it turns very difficult. I have to admit that having sex is like a necessity for me. Then, can I support the fever and wait for that especial moment with my actual boyfriend?
I have to, but it is very difficult because I now that if I act with hurry with him I could push too hard and spoil everything.
Ok... then, my only option is to calm down. And wait. I now it will worth the sacrifice..